Spirituality: Overcoming Fear To Get To A Place Of Love

I was listening to Abraham Hicks one night on YouTube (she is a spiritual teacher and focuses on mental attitudes and laws of attraction). The particular point of focus that night was how to stay aligned with yourself for we can only feel love in our “vortex”.

During this video I felt the need to do a Reiki session on myself; It’s important I do these every day- much like counsellors, energy healers need to clear out all of our stuff before helping others first too.

By putting myself in a meditative space before a reiki session, I’m allowing myself to tune in to my intuition more clearly, and from the very abrupt and direct images I was receiving in my third eye that night, I knew I was going to go through an intensive experience. My mind was wide open and I was ready to allow it all in (even if I sometimes had to open my eyes to check I was under no real threat during the session. We are never under any threat or shown anything we are not ready to see or handle. It’s always a healing experience with our best interests at heart; I’m just a big baby)

I was beginning by working with the chakras around my head, and feeling the energy flowing and protecting me, and I let my imagination run wild. At first I saw footsteps in dark turquoise water; it was twilight and this was a shallow lake by a forest. There was an ominous feel to the image and I was alert to what was to come. I saw fully then- the people treading the water were Indians carrying spears. I was hiding behind a large rock aware that they were going to kill me. It wasn’t just me though for I was with my family: my child and my husband.

The feeling of fear was so overwhelming I knew I would do anything to protect my family- anything stupid or futile was likely for I just couldn’t control myself. It was the worst feeling I had yet experienced in this reality and I could hardly handle it and stay calm.

The message was very clear: How do you stay in a loving space in this situation?

For the life of me I couldn’t tell. I could see no positive result to this highly risky situation, and so as I moved my hands to another part of my energy field, the images changed too.

It was very much attacking and predator tones tonight. Ok, I thought, I must need this.
This time I was sat in a forest with tigers circling me and I accepted that I would probably die and there was nothing I could do- the end came quickly. I saw a baboon then and I made sure to take note as to google it later. I was then attacked by a large hippo, and then a crocodile, again completely helpless to the situations.

The message then this time was: But you still love these animals? and I thought, yes of course, why wouldn’t I? Well they attacked you and caused you harm…
Well it was their nature, and there was nothing I could do. It’s just the way it is. Of course I still love them.
So then what’s the difference between the animals and those humans? it asked and I had to think about that.

I quickly thought about the fact that I accepted the animals behaviour and not the humans- why was that? Was it because I expected more from them? It didn’t quite ring true- there was something else. I thought about how I was alone when I was attacked by the animals and pictured one of my family members with me I quickly changed from compassionate to hateful, and I realized what it was.

When I was with my family I was feeling responsible for their safety as if I had any kind of control over the situation. I couldn’t face them being hurt, I couldn’t face failing to keep them safe and things going wrong that I was going to risk our lives even further by jumping up and trying to fend off the threat by myself or just by acting hysterical. The overwhelming emotion stemmed from my failure to control the situation.

Good.

I’ve found the source, now what? How do we get to love from here?

I realize that I needed to put myself in a loving headspace and the first step was to let go of the idea that I could control the situation. I couldn’t, that was an illusion. Let go.
With that knowledge the fear dissipated and I was able to become calm and compassionate. I looked at my family members and smiled at them to show them that I loved them. I wanted to send them love, that was all I could do right now. The possibilities were that they caught us and killed us or carried on moving and not noticing us. The only thing we could do was accept the situation, for we were all out of other options. With that we was able to find a place of love.

Good.

I moved along now, still following my intuition around my chakras with the healing energy when a new image came to me: Second scenario; it was an Alice in Wonderland type environment; I was in the middle of a dark space watching a bird which changed into a butterfly which changed into a ball which changed into a Frisbee and it kept going and going; everything around me was changing constantly and I was starting to feel overwhelmed. Except for the fact that I realized I wasn’t changing. I was the only thing that remained steady and sure and I moved to sit on a rock and smile at my busy environment. I had found the recourse I needed within myself, and so it didn’t matter what was happening in the world around me.

The next situation came immediately by way of a very intrusive image of someone’s face close to mine. I kept calm and asked it to back away a little bit. I was aware it was a witch and it moved back so I could see it in all of its entirety. I saw that it had beautiful dark wings and everything about it was perfectly co-ordinated to its tone and theme. I told her how beautiful she was and she responded in kind. I thought how interesting that I could be so frightened by an intensified version of the same thing, but when I was far enough away to see the whole picture I was able to find it beautiful. Perhaps fear is only seeing a very small part of the big picture.

The last scenario showed me everything I had learned but on the other side of the coin. When I had gone for my Reiki 2 attunement my mentor had seen my spirit guide circling light around my feet with a stick as if to ground me. This was a much darker version of that scenario. In this version he was actually hacking at my feet with the light. He wanted me to remain where I was and so he was trying to saw my feet off so I literally couldn’t go anywhere. In other words he was trying to control me.
It didn’t stop there either- the hacking extended towards other limbs and my mouth was sewn shut so I had no choice but to be exactly present. I did have a choice though- I could resign myself to his control, or I could stay in my ‘vortex’ of love (Abraham Hicks).
Of course I chose love, so I had to figure out how to do this… I found I could still go anywhere with my mind with that I’d found inner happiness again. For this man could not touch that unless he wanted to destroy that too, but you see he had lost because all he wanted was my undivided attention and so he could never force that whether he did destroy that or he didn’t. He had to face the fact that he had no control over me.

We both had learned the importance of sovereignty, and do you know what spirit animal comes into our lives to teach us about sovereignty?
The baboon.

Critical Perspective: The Bad Guy We Root For

   Beauty and the Beast is flawless in my opinion, and one of the main things that immediately sets it apart from the rest is that it immediately focuses on the “bad guy’s” history. Knowing how the bad guy went bad or seeing their vulnerability is something we don’t usually find out/see until the end of a story e.g. Darth Vader from Star Wars, Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, Professor Snape from Harry Potter. In the genre of Disney especially, bad guys hardly ever get this chance at redemption, e.g. Jafar from Aladdin, the evil stepmother from Cinderella, Ursula from The little mermaid etc.

   This is interesting, firstly because it allows you more insight into the story than the heroine, even though we’re following her point of view. This allows the audience to understand a complex level of the story that wouldn’t have been obvious before.

   Secondly, it blurs the lines of the villain; we see what’s driven beast to his actions and although they are wrong, we can understand them. This is something Belle doesn’t know and yet she is still willing to hope for the Beast when he shows a singular, rare act of heroism.

   Most people could say that this is a love story from the point of view of Belle, however this quote from the beginning of the movie tells me otherwise:

“As the years passed he fell into despair, and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?”

   This heart-wrenching suggestion makes the love story so much more than just that; we may start to root for the villain. We eventually want the Beast to find love, we want him to feel worthy of it, and we learn that he acts horrendously because he doesn’t think he is good enough. At least, it’s a front to overcompensate for his unloved existence. That’s the significance of this line- to let us know that Beast is partly a victim.

   It also makes the lines between hero and villain much blurrier when we highlight the similarities between Beast and Gaston, as both are originally narcissistic men.
What first separates them is a mirrored version of the poignant question asked at the beginning: How can a beast learn to love when he does not recognise he is a beast?
   The lesson here is that both men value appearances above all else and even when the Beast is made into a beast, he still does not realize the point- he bases his own self worth on his appearance and inevitably falls into despair. It takes someone with a different perspective and a show of good will to make him see otherwise.

However this is when the differences between the villains really begin to show; let’s look at the parallels between Beast and Gaston:

Beast becomes powerless when his looks are taken away.
Gaston ranks himself above everyone else based on his good looks.

Beast punishes easily when his ego is damaged, but shows mercy when Belle is upset.
Gaston feels like the world owes him something for his good looks, but when Belle rejects him he plots against her and laughs in her face when she is distraught.

Beast cares about how Belle perceives him.
Gaston cares about how Belle affects his image.

Beast shows mercy to Gaston, and pulls him to safety at the end.
Gaston finds Beast’s act of kindness weak, and stabs him in the back.

Beast is saved by acts of love.
Gaston is destroyed by acts of hatred.

   This is why Beast is my favourite bad guy, and Beauty and the Beast is one of my favourite love stories.

Love is complicated and people are complicated, until something happens that makes it seem simple. People act badly when they feel low about themselves and others can end up loathing them. However, don’t ignore that glimpse of guilt, mercy or compassion that they discreetly display. It may surprise you to learn that they care more about you than you think. One day they may start to find the courage to be vulnerable with you, and commit an act of selflessness. When this happens you’ll realize that you’d read them wrong all along.

   Love sometimes comes from unexpected places, but beauty always originates from within.