This isn’t what I would have believed in if you’d have spelled it out to me with gold in my last lifetime. It wouldn’t be necessary for me to know either, being a spirit guide. Which would be a shame because I don’t want to separate from my buddy if we advance at different rates after this- me living lessons way behind or infront of what he’s aligned with, depending on how well I do this job. I’m following his next life alongside him in spirit, instead of as a human like usual. I’m his new guardian angel; a role I’m taking up for the first time.
And he thinks I’m a risk taker.
I died in our last shared life out of impatience and arrogance, bungee jumping without an instructor. I thought I could learn myself. I’d gotten to thirty three with that attitude. Helion took the blame all on himself because he wasn’t there to stop me being stupid. Absurd, but that’s what we do when we’re in human bodies.
I have to admit that I’m nervous. It’s a joke that my buddy has entrusted me to watch over him and influence him. That was what I did for a living before I died. I was a lead singer of the Rock Band: Nondescript. I had the power to sway people into new trends or old. I should have listened to Helion’s voice more often so I could have used my platform better. I needed more of him and he needed less of me. Which is why he’s going to go on living without me as a brother, friend, co-worker, or any number of different relationships we’ve had over hundreds of years. He needs to learn how to relieve himself of the responsibility of other’s choices, and find joy focusing on his own.
“Are you ready, kid?” he asks me now. “The midwife is ready for the baby to come out. I must go into it now.”
“Wait, I don’t think I’m ready. How can we make sure the reception is going to be exciting for you?”
“Filey, there’s no need to worry about that. The nurses will be indifferent to me, we already know that, can’t change it. They’re just doing their jobs. It is my mother’s free will to stay awake or give in to sleep. Either way, I will remember the excitement she had for me prior.”
“Are the stars aligned?” I asked, and observed the vast, nightly structure. “Moon sign in Virgo, Mercury in Pisces, it’s a strange combination, are you sure?”
“It’s too late for this, Files. You’re fretting, kid when it’ll be ok because you’re going to be there, helping me balance those energies. I’ll be a great composer, you just need to make sure I find the right materials. It’ll happen sooner or later.”
“Ok, I think you’d best get in there now, quick.”
Helion threw me a withering look, then laughed.
“It’s a shame I won’t remember you,” he said.
Being this close to the physical realm rubs off on you and actual tears tickled my eyes. I wouldn’t get through this experience unscathed, like I’d thought- feeling pure and constant like all souls in the spirit world. I would feel what Helion felt if I stayed too close. I hope I’d be able to give objective advice but I knew how addicted I was to that human feeling.
“All the better for watching purposes. Unfiltered entertainment,” I said.
“You’re a swine.”
“Get in there, the baby’s head is showing,” I nudged him and gripped his hand for the last time. He sent white light through me for the briefest of moments before he drifted into the baby’s body. Just in time as the baby came out crying, allowing the still awake mother to breathe a sigh of relief. She lay her head back, fighting sleep. Helion’s baby-mind filled with details of the room, soaking up all feelings present. It would be stored in his memory bank forever, not that he’d necessarily draw up on any of it while he was in that life. He could, but I would have to decide if that was right for him. Crap. The full weight of this task had me hovering around Helion in baby form. In his new life he would be called Reece but that wouldn’t be for another two weeks.
Without him beside me, I was lost for what to do. I was never good at being alone.
“I’m still here, buddy. Everybody ought to realize how exciting this is that you’re in the world,” I told him as his small hands reached for me. Should I tell the nurses to look excited? He was going to be a cherished composer one day. He needs encouragement. I danced from left to right before I found a balloon in the corner of the room and popped it. Helion, or Reece, stopped crying. A nurse had jumped and was now giggling and Reece looked over at me, invisible to everyone else, and tapped his foot. That’s right, Reece, ride on that energy. The moments of every day living that make memories. He’d make music that told their stories.
I smiled and watched on, allowing myself an early five minute break.
I was going to be a great guardian angel. Maybe not today, but nobody is on their first day. Helion and I would always find joy in life, whether we were together in physical or in spirit. It would all work out.
Grace King 