Reiki, Past life, and Spirit Animal of the day!

I really needed this reiki session; I was exhausted from yesterday as I’d been walking a lot and I slept so deeply I felt like I was part of the mattress. I was excited then to cleanse my room and light a candle although I added no oil to the burner so I was just burning fresh water. My cat seemed to really want a session too as she scratched at my door and somehow managed to get in and got herself a comfy spot on my stomach. I pictured a gold circle of light on my bed as I climbed onto it and lay on my back. I then asked to receive Reiki healing energy for my highest good and greatest needs tree times- the rule of three is for certainty. We often say things we may not mean so the rule is if we say it three times we mean it. I then wanted to ground myself by connecting to the Earth, I pictured roots growing out of my feet and a spring plant (a small tree with white flowers) reaching out to connect with me, and then to protect myself I pictured a bed of flowers growing around me in big blossoms and coating me in their fragrance and pure essence.

I could have stayed in each hand position for ages as the uplifting energy flowed through me, like shoots of relief, elevation and relaxation. I always love the feeling of the reiki along my back and in the soles of my feet as it’s a giddy feeling like flying out of the body. Towards the end of the session when I’d aligned and lit up the colours of my chakras, and swept away the excess negative energy from both my aura and my cat’s since she wanted in- I felt the urge to do a past life regression.

Because I felt so physically depleted I imagined the white light of the universe slowly moving through my body and relaxing my muscles, making them go slack. Along my back, my chest, my shoulders, my jaw, my legs and feet. When I got to my head I pictured the white light massaging my pineal gland releasing DMT and I drew the figure 8- universal symbol for infinity- between my left and right side of the brain. I pictured Angels then, four at different points of my body and lifted me up. We floated and drifted for a little bit in no hurry and then I felt my feet rise and I imagined my spirit doing a flip in the air and landing softly on a bouncy castle. The Angels then floated me to the ground which was the bouncy castle and I walked through the light into the scene of an indoor play area.

I was a little boy, so cute in a pinafore- people kept doing flips which were bouncing me all over the place. I was wearing a party hat that fell over my nose and hurt me as it was pressed into me. I got up looking for my mummy and a youthful, slender woman with long curly brown hair came hurrying towards me with her arms spread wide. She had an urban, conventional, bohemian vibe about her- very set in the structure of the world and fit in well kind of thing. She was very different to my mum in my present life but she was quite clearly her reincarnated spirit. My dad was a charmer, youthful with an alive and playful spirit. Him and my mum were cool and young and complemented each other well- each with independent lives but partnered up well and had an easy, flirtatious interaction. Both of them were very conventional in the sense that they flowed with their culture easily- it was very modern day in England. Dad had a gleam in his eye and seemed quite mischievous, Mum was more grounded but they both had a good sense of humour. This dad was an ex of mine in my present life it seemed. My grandad had white hair and a beard and looked homely and that was my dad in my present life with a very soft and kind vibe. My dad in this past life who was also very different to my ex in this life carried me away to the arcades to cheer me up. Mum was sorting out her things in her bag and preparing the nappies etc. At the arcades I was mischievous climbing up them and being restless but I was adorable in my outfit and really enjoyed playing. Dad was watching me and encouraging me and to also be social and talk to the young girls around- building my confidence. I remember seeing them and liking them in the way little boys do- prince charming etc. Dad also told me I needed to toughen up when I lost a game and it nearly brought on the waterworks. He said it in a loving tone, and wouldn’t let me hug him but he walked me back to Mum holding my hand. I don’t think I had any siblings at this point but Mum would have another baby- I think a girl.

I’m not sure what the purpose of this was as there are no obvious lessons to me but it was a lovey snippet anyway of another life. It is weird to see present connections connected to me in different ways but they were also very different people. It showed me though that I maintain these same connections in numerous lives, and not just this one which is nice.

Towards the end of this story- which is this point which told me there was no more to see and to return to the present (intuitively). I saw very clearly a tarantula walking in my third eye over the image and separate from the image. It was the same hologram green colour as they do when I see animals outside of a particular thought process or story unfolding in my imagination. It was clearly a tarantula with a large body and it reminded me of a squid, so I wasn’t sure if it was a spider. After a google search I found the one I think I saw (photo above). Messages could be- having patience and not moving too soon so you don’t lose fruits of hard work, elevate sensitivity and intuition, stepping back from a tough situation to better think of next move. The one I think I like the most is figuring out how your dreams and desires can be fulfilled by weaving your own story.

I feel so great though and happy to reconnect to the spiritual side of life after a while of feeling disconnected from myself. I feel energised, confident and happy. I also saw my power animal which is always there to protect me: my black Panther.


Parallel lives: Love without guilt

This was a short past life regression I did on myself, and I only seemed to write down the highlights in my notepad at the time. This means I don’t have all of the fresh details but the lessons still stand.


I was a girl in America and I owned horses. I was only a teenager, perhaps sixteen or seventeen. I was out in the field with a horse and was about to go see my boyfriend so I left the horse in a small shelter. As I drove away in my car I noticed the sky was darkening and hoped there wouldn’t be a storm but decided to keep going anyway. When I got to my boyfriends house which was large and white with the drive going up a small hill, I went through the door and saw he had some friends over. One of which was a girl I didn’t get a good feeling from. Since I wasn’t expecting anyone else there as we were supposed to spend the evening together I was confused but I stayed while his friends hung out for a bit and then eventually left. We’d been sitting on the couch when it started to rain and I saw then there was a thunder storm outside. I felt so guilty for leaving the horse out and asked my boyfriend to come with me to take care of it. My boyfriend seemed reluctant and frustrated by this and here is where the lives split. The first time I saw this past life I watched it in this sequence of events:

I made my boyfriend come with me to make sure that it was safer and because I needed help. When we got to mine we found a spooked horse and I tried to calm her down but because she was behaving uncontrollably we both ended up getting hurt. It jumped ahead to the next life event where we were both in the hospital. I wasn’t hurt so bad but he was hurt more. I went over to his bed to check up on him and he ended the relationship. I accepted that and left; I found I wasn’t burdened by guilt which in my present life is a very ongoing thing. I simply own up to my choices, faced the aftermath and accepted his without a flicker or a waver in the love I felt for myself. I knew he would be ok and thought it was for the best.
I ended up living a happy life and I was shown a scene in a kitchen where me and my husband in middle age were serving dinner and eating with our two kids. We were laughing and it was full of love. It was a really lovely moment and I was confident and on top of things. I was also shown me bumping into my old boyfriend in the supermarket, and he was happy with his girlfriend. He was fine and clearly hadn’t been injured too badly. In this version of events I died naturally at an old age and in peace.

The other version of this life went as follows:

I left to go take care of the horse alone not even attempting to persuade my boyfriend, even though I was scared and didn’t feel safe. This time when the horse got spooked she ended up hurting me badly and I lost feeling in my legs. Later on when I was in the hospital and my boyfriend arrived and discovered I had to be kept in a wheelchair from that moment on, he decided to stay with me out of guilt. We had an empty, unhappy life with one child, both of us feeling stuck in our situations and growing stagnant.
It jumped to the next significant life event where I was throwing up in the toilet in the bathroom, out of my wheelchair and on the floor. I looked older than I was. I died painfully and not at an old age in that life perhaps from an illness of some sort; cancer. My soul was restless when it left the body.

This whole experience really taught me to be bold about what I needed, stand up to responsibilities and accept circumstances gracefully, without debt.

Most of all to love myself and not do anything out of guilt or obligation. There was a difference between making right bad decisions, and self sacrificing to make things up to someone else. That is just another mistake as it prevents both people from finding true happiness.

I learned not to make others do things out of guilt or obligation too because it tainted pure intensions and didn’t make anyone any happier.

I learned how easy it can be to forgive and give myself an easy time, and then watch all of the good that can follow that.

I learned to carry on rather than to stay in a bad situation. Sometimes the best way to make things right is to leave them alone- especially if I was only staying so I could look myself in the mirror. I learned that by carrying on with life rather than lingering, a huge burden would be lifted and only good things can come from there. I learned that by accepting, I was showing mercy and compassion for myself and therefore I had more love to give to others, and indeed I did put more love and patience out into the universe.
I learned that by respecting the choices of others that I was doing right. I lived a more meaningful and fulfilling life this way, and knew how to respect myself.

What they have to teach us

Feel my heavenly caress, she said to her companion
He faced her with strength and anticipation
Whatever is your desire, he said to his mistress

She coursed through him, and smacked him every evening
But some days with gentler force than others
He was a foundation, a body
and she was the nourishment, the blood, making him appear sturdy

Good were the days they were in love
She glistened as she slid sleepily against him
And he stood tall like a hero in a story book

May you come save me my prince when I have lost my foul mood
May you always come greet me my love when you travel with a heart of the moon
I am but Earth’s child and I shall keep you safe and afloat
And you shall grant me sensations with your voluptuous ebb and flow

Us mere humans may dangle our feet over his arms to taste her vie
but as we look on at their thrashing relationship we keep at bay
And only engage when they’re at peace

He remains when she goes away
But she returns in patterns every day
And no matter how it looks to us
The manner of their relationship is brave
For they keep on saving each other from a life that could go to waste

With every blink of the eye, and every salt crystal that flies
He kisses her with rough edges, allowing her someone different to stand beside
And she keeps him out of breath all night
And if you embrace her nature she will be good to you
If you respect his stance he will always stay true
But if you challenge them you will surely lose
For they don’t change, so your actions must reflect on you